Ground(ed) Effects

Indycar and general autosport opinion

Oh, hello there.

Yes, friends, it has been a while, but with the off-season turned chock-a-block with new-season goodies, many things are looking up for the Indycar season – 2014.

Now ‘Glamping’ (Glamorous Camping) is the latest development for those inclined to be nearest the action and not at a distant or ratty hotel come raceday. IMS seized an opportunity to capitalize on this and the new ‘Glamping’ zone is set for the infield this May at the Greatest Racecourse in the World((tm), I think)


It also spawned a nice twitter interchange among some of us with a predilection for 80s/90s club rap and, given my penchant for parody lyrics here on the blog, one song became clear to me as the semi-unofficial, not-at-all-in-accordance-with-copyright-law, unapproved Glamp Camp Song of 2014 – Glampty Dance. The “Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground, is a staple of dance parties since it was released in 1990. Classic braggadoccio rap lyrics over a great funky drum and bass loop mixed with memorably humorous and well-paced lyrics, the original with video can be heard here.

And now for your entertainment, set the original track on your iPod/YouTube player/CD player and sing along as I present to you, the parody lyrics – Glampty Dance:  

All right!
Stop whatcha doin’
’cause I’m about to ruin
the style of campin’ that ya used to.
It looks funny,
but IMS makin’ money, see
so, yo world, I hope you’re ready for me.
Now gather round
I’m the new camp in town
and my tent’s laid down on th’ Innerground.
I drink up all the Fuzzy’s that ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Glampty, pronounced with an ‘Ampty’.
Yo ladies, oh how I love like to Pamp’ thee.
And all the fires in the Coke-Lot – please allow me to stamp thee.
I’m campin’ tall, y’all,
just like Benny Benassi
and if ya not, ya fall like a pit wall Ganassi.
I like to chill,
I like my camp funky,
I’m spunky. I like a Brazilian named ‘Junqy’.
I’m sick wit dis, straight gangsta camp
but sometimes I get all Natty-up
I’ll eat up all your Cheez-Its and your Ramen Cup
hey yo track girl, c’mere-are ya tattedup?
Yeah, I saw ya tatts.
Look at me, I’m clean
It never stopped me from gettin’ mean
I’m a freak
I ask the girls ‘show your b**bs’
I once got busy in an infield bathroom
I’m lazy.
Driving to track is crazy.
They say I’m a newbie but it just don’t faze me.
I’m still seein’ all the tramp-stamps
and I see ‘em from my own camp

[Chorus:]
The Glampty Camp here’s yo chance to do the Glamp
Do the Glampty Camp, come on and do the Glampty Camp
Do the Glampty Camp, just watch me set a Glampty Camp
Do ya know what I’m doin’, doin’ the Glampty Glamp
Do the Glampty Camp, do the Glampty Camp

[Verse 2:]
People say “Yo, Glampty, you’re trailer’s funny lookin'”
that’s all right ’cause I get things cookin’
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can’t get near me
Givin’ out booze, tunes, see, and a dance floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I’m really bein’ sincere
’cause I’m not stuck in traffic, I can service ya here.
My camp is big, uh-uh I’m not ashamed
Big like a compound, I’m still gettin’ laid
I get paid by the glampers, ya know I’m in charge,
both how I’m livin’ and my camp is large
We like to get ‘you know’, we getting freaky like Juno,
I use a word that don’t mean nothin’, like ‘Duno’
I sang on Drivewhutchalike, and if ya missed that,
I’m the one who said just ‘show ‘em all ya tramp tat’.
Also told ya that I like to camp
Well, yeah, I guess it’s obvious, I also like to Glamp.
All ya had to do was give Glampty a slot
and now I’m gonna rock this spot…

[Chorus]

[Breakdown:]
Oh, yeah, that’s the break, y’all
Let me throw a little firepit right here, yo
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this camp
It’s real easy to do–check it out

[Verse 3:]
First I’m camping in my 30 cause my Prevost is broken
Shakin’ and twitchin’ and my transporter’s smokin’
Crazy wack campy
People say ya look like Martha Stewart on crack, Glampty
That’s all right ’cause my camp is in motion
It’s supposed to look like a mosh or a commotion
Anyone can camp this way
This is my camp, y’all, Glampty’ Glamp’s my name
No two people will Glamp the same way
Ya gotta glamp, turn Indy night into day.
Humpin’, funkin’, jump right,
jig around, rockin’ ya campsite,
and when the yellow shirt chump blows a whistle in ya’ camp
tell him step off, I’m doin’ the Glamp.

[Chorus]

Race Fans, do the Glampty Camp, do the Glampty Camp
Track Workers, do the Glampty Camp, do the Glampty Camp
Die-hards, do the Glampty Camp, just keep on doin’ the Glamp
Yellow-shirts, do the Glampty Camp, do the Glampty Camp

Let’s get stoopid!

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
Once again, the Innerground is in the house
From the Greatest Spectacle in Racing,
keep on doin’ the Glampty Camp,
and to the Coke Lotters,
peace and glamptiness forever…

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