DZ-groundedeffects

DZ’s Davidsonian-Rambling Trip Memories… 2004 – Part Deux.

(CONTINUED FROM PART 1)

…joy turned to shock as we discovered.. the beer’s nearly ALL GONE!!

Suddenly everything became difficult. Indecision reigned. The heat haze of 90-degree, May 29, seemed to choke our beer and meat-addled brains’ ability to comprehend reality. The steamy grass and gravel confines of Lot 2 had suddenly become a desperate place tinged with the smell of panic. Our ranks constricted into a more defensive posture. Even the slightest of issues so easily dispatched just minutes earlier, became cause for alarm. Gravel dust and sweat were mating with abandon on my skin. There are GRASS BLADES AND DIRT IN THE ICE SLURRY!!

This trip will NOT end like this. We have the entire Indianapolis-fuckin’-500 tomorrow. The time to overcome obstacles was now. First up, each man took a quick inventory of beverages consumed. Preliminary calculations went beyond initial comprehension. In times like this it’s almost as if the brain understands it is no longer functioning at 100 percent, furiously ignores the messages and signals from the most-affected area, and allows for basic logic and math calculations to be performed.

Through some well-thought-out teamwork, we were able to arrange a party for supplies. When they returned with two cases to last the remaining 20 hours, we were surprised with the extended bonus of cheap cigars and magazines whose theme seemed to revolve around a poorly-lit, yet vaguely art-like appreciation for the female form, complete with pages and pages of telecommunication ads, all in a foreign language that appeared to be Russian. I took this as a sign that things would be OK. For what remained of the now-scant daylight hours, we set about a final straightening of the camp site.

A sense of order restored, we settled back into our chairs, reconvening around our re-stocked cooler and makeshift soft-sided pictorial gallery. We offered thanks for the fresh beer and a return to a more serene, seated conversation as our Wisconsin neighbors set about foraging for local food and investigating the rising nightlife on Georgetown Road.

Those moments, huddled as a small group far away from the trials and tribulations of everyday life, I believe gave us a better appreciation for the value of our adventure, comradeship, and even our friendships. Daylight and activity waned. Consumer-level fireworks popped and sparkled in the distance. Music from other camps wafted as we noticed the campground nearing capacity. Sights were now beginning to affix on the remaining 20 hours that lay ahead.

Drinking light lagers continuously for extended periods of time prior to age 40 isn’t terribly difficult nor is very complicated. It is almost cleansing in fact. It was easy for us to see why, as men age, they seem to increasingly treasure times like these – they afford us a respite and time for reflection. My race rookies and I even indulged in some poor-tasting cigars, salty snacks, and Indy 500 race conversation. As 1am beckoned and final arrangements made for tent-sleep, we all also settled the final tabs with our bladders and retreated to our modest nylon shelters, satisfied that we sucked the marrow of that Saturday with appropriate vigor.

Regardless of how much we choose to believe the illusion of how evolved or civilized we are, the body and brain has it’s millenia-old systems of well-groomed self-preservation if we dare to listen.

I find mine becomes apparent only when asleep. This system was activated with a rustling of grass and snickers that were much too close to our defensively-placed tents near the vehicle and back of our lot. Ears pricked up and alerted all senses to an ominous shadow on the tent’s far side, but it was already too late. Our playful neighbors had pulled a trump card from their camper and decided that we would be the victims.

At approximately 3:11am local Indiana time, we were quite rudely awakened to a standard-issue crowd bullhorn just 12 inches from our tent and one of the Wisconsin boys singing some currently popular song and also imploring us to come out and play some more. We all remained motionless and through visual communication realized we had been had. Our first strategy was to ignore it and play ‘possum even though no person would ever assume sleep could be maintained though a bullhorn’s call. The strategy worked for a couple of minutes but the bullhorn was then set on the tent sidewall and the taunt continued.

At approximately 3:14am local time, nearby female voices giggling with our neighbor boys implored them to stop as the joke was clearly over and now were only antagonizing us. The one of us closest to that tent wall only later admitted it was only through both great fatigue and restraint that he didn’t violently send the bullhorn back through the jokester’s incisors and canines…

An uneasy calm returned to camp as the voices again trailed away whether back into the night or just into the camper, I don’t know. Knowing the day’s physical expenditure and requirements of the next day, I used every bit of personal soft good to insulate my head from sound, returning to whatever form of rest I could muster…

(PART 3 – THE FINAL 12 HOURS, TO COME)

DZ’s Davidsonian-Rambling 500 Trip Memories… 2004: A New Beginning

For each of the estimated 375,000 race visitors who descend upon Speedway, Indiana any given Memorial Day weekend, I would conservatively estimate there MUST be no less than 5 stories to tell. When you extrapolate that, Rainman, you get 1 million, 875 thousand some odd stories… EVERY YEAR.

Granted at least half of those fall into the ‘too disturbing to recall/brain bleach’ category or tied to the ‘sworn to secrecy’ pact, never to reach beyond that inner circle of mind-altered/beer-infused/traumatic-event bonded few who witnessed it. It’s akin to being my generation’s D-Day, storming the flatlands of central Indiana and invading the fortress known as IMS. Some stories that emerge from an event as such must remain sacred, others may be told. God, I love the 500.

But I digress. This recollection comes from the minority of stories which actually can be told publicly, and from a year which I introduced my current generation of friends to the glories of the Indy 500 – 2004.

Firstly, a slight bit of background I’ve not yet discussed on this blog…

(TANGENTIAL RAMBLE DELETED)

…so in 2004, and looking for a fresh, more enthusiastic bunch along, it was decided that 3 neighbor/husband/recent-father/friends (and newly minted poker buddies) with reserved seats and a two-day tent camping pass in Lot 2, would head to Indy at dawn on Saturday of the 2004 race.

A minivan replete with two tents, camp chairs, basic charcoal grilling gear, a (unbeknownst to me) huge Jack Stack Freight House Deluxe package of glorious (overnighted on dry ice) barbequed meats and trimmings, modest personal effects, and two large coolers filled with four cases of beer and ice. Certainly more than enough for 4 chaps for 36 hours or so…

…OR SO we thought.

I waited patiently for the a quieter moment at the first of seven county lines we’d cross during our three-hour drive to reach into my sixer-cooler and crack a beer. I did it with no warning or celebration, more just to signal intent for this day. Although I had broken beer with these guys before, this would be our first road trip without spouses or kids or much of any care at all… >PSSHHhhrrrrrrrTK< …the silence for the following seconds seemed a bit too long for my liking and was actually concerned that I had maybe overshot my targeted enthusiasm. Silence was broken when the question came.

“Did you just crack a beer?” … “Yes.” … “Alright then, gimme one too.”

I suspected right then we had the makings of a winner. Ever-cautiously though, I explained it away by stating that my calculations had us back home in less than 36 hours remaining so every moment needed to be savored. It was agreed. The minivan’s cruise control received a bumping-up of 4 mph. Radars be damned.

Six counties later, upon our arrival to Lot 2, we were eyeballed at the gate, asked to affix the camp sticker to the glass of the minivan, and directed to the lowest, muddiest spot to tent camp in the whole of the place. We humbly asked, as tent-campers, if we can be assigned a replacement spot. DENIED by our yellow-clad lot official. This amateur geologist assured us it would be dry before evening. The entire camp lot was half-empty. Rather than argue, we allowed this over-zealous ATV-jockey to hastily depart and we then found a much more suitable locale on our own beside a very demure and friendly-appearing couple with a towable camper in a small clearing of about five spaces. They were nice enough and quite sympathetic to our original placement story.

Our enthusiasm grew as the sun and temperature rose ever-higher that day. After the essential tents and grill were set, a ring of four camp chairs surrounding a large blue and white cooler full of beer was established in the direct sunlight of this latest of May Saturdays. Much commiserating, laughing, and ever-deepening pond of empty aluminum cans later, our serenity was broken again by the now harried yellow-clad jockey directing a 1-800-RENT-RVS camper to park beside us, again with nothing for tens of yards around.

After The Wizard of Lot sped off again, and seeing the relative proximity of park and our washers and cornhole pitches, the driver came around and offered us the deal of the weekend – in exchange for their moving a half space away from us, we would share the wasted space between us (nearly a full slot) for all of our mirth and merriment. “DEAL!”, I said to Mike from Wisconsin. Rapidly all of our gear became wider as did our neighborly stature. The camper, now parked with a sense of permanence, spat out four fresh-faced college-age lads, the fourth of whom was of larger stature than the others. His mission was clear – with beer bong in hand and already loaded, he ambled down the steps, set his feet to the ground, almost Armstrong-like, and hoisted the classic funnel tube engulfing the golden lager in three seconds. Cheers erupted. Spirits soared.

Duly impressed and eager to foster positive relations, we offered this phalanx of clean, cargo-shorted chaps some welcoming beers and a good-natured tone was struck. Several beers later however the tone turned to concern as the large fellow had surprisingly met his fill already and, nearly in the same spot as his triumphant bong, he stood erect and blew a foamy gusher of liquid beer-puke forward with a volume and force I’d not seen before. Much like a fireworks show, we all ‘OOOHHed’ and ‘AAAHHed’. Once evacuated, he retreated into the camper only to emerge minutes later clean, composed, and with a fresh polo of new pastel color tucked into his khaki shorts. Unwavering, he grabbed a fresh beer, opened the top and drank it like the previous 4 minutes never happened. Cheering and laughs ensued. While never having been formally introduced, I proclaimed him, for our the extent of the weekend, to be known as Derrick Geyser.

More sporting skills were made evident and our very own collegiate basketball player dazzled the Dairyland visitors with repeated washers bullseyes using a basketball shot technique instead of the traditional underhand. Other fun was had and I even was so bold as to call a 2:00 minute penalty on the visitors for misconduct in which the violator spent the time in a not-so-very-large RV storage bin. More laughs and his mates agreed, so he served his time. Fair play is fair play and I credit him with acceptance of that call. As the games wound down our joy turned to shock then as we discovered… the beer’s nearly ALL GONE!!

(PART 2 TO COME)

Jay Penske Redux and post-Election Diatribe

What was that?! Oh no… another post with “Redux” in the title.

A recapitulation of a previous post. Another lazy-assed post by a lazy-assed blogger.

Hard to argue, but after reading the details of the Jay Penske civil suit against Lotus by Marshall Pruett, I couldn’t help but have this ‘haven’t we heard this before?’ feeling.

As my tens of readers will attest, I sometimes deal with emotional situations by making a parody song fit into the world of Indycar. Pippa Mann was the most recent recipient back in March of this year.

I also had made a song about Jay Penske in April of 2011. When it seems all this guy wants to do is field an Indycar team, circumstances conspire to make it as difficult as possible for him. In the words of Mister Calhoun Tubbs, “Wrote a song ’bout it. Liketohearit?hereitgo..”

Jay Penske’s Lament

Now that you’ve re-elected me to Indycar blogger of North-central Indiana region, I wish to address some issues related to our fair sport…
*guzzles double-shot of whiskey… deep breath*… Okay.

– The Cars:
NO the cars aren’t the beasts they used to be in the 70s and 80s, and NO they most likely never will be again. Get over it already. There are two good reasons that these days are gone forever… money (the lack thereof) and liability (the abundance of it).

The question of “How fast do you want to go?” will always be answered with the question, “How much money do you have to spend?” Even the supposed highest heights of worldwide automotive excellence (F1) have to set some restrictions and you now have a modified form of restricted racing. The days of ‘unlimited budgets’ are gone. Unlimited racing doesn’t exist. What’s left is the perceived level of performance relative to the technology of the day. For the record, NASCAR, while quite popular, I still consider a form of racer-tainment, not racing. It’s more about the drama of the various characters and interactions (off- and on-track). Often compared to Professional Wrestling with good reason, Pro Rasslin’ and NASCAR have for many years not been about the technical aspects as much as the character drama presented.

When the sport of open-wheel racing was at it’s peak, people often got killed in racing cars. They still do, albeit much less frequently, and racers have always signed up for a occupation which is dangerous in the extreme, but when fans get injured, maimed, and even killed, that’s when the ‘shit gets real’. To add ever-increasing power and speed and danger to vehicles and place them in relative close proximity to thousands of fans is not asking the question of “if?” but “when?”. One way of mitigating this is to beg plead and promise the insurance companies and leagues that as venues, they’re doing all they reasonably can to protect the spectators. Making the cars more dangerous and faster is doing the exact opposite and endangering the lives of drivers, crews, and fans alike. Quite honestly, you can print all the warnings and disclaimers on ticket stubs you like, the venue, league, teams, drivers, and hot dog vendors will be named in the litigation. Let’s face it, without venues, we have no racing.

– The Venues:
I’m going to say that last bit again. Without venues, we have no racing. Venues must make money to survive. Racing venues trade danger and speed and perceived competition for your money and the right to see it at their place. They also have massive liability and the job of pleasing thousands of people at each event. I honestly think you must a fair bit nuts to want to own and run any sports venue let alone one made specifically for racing. When people pay money to an event, they want to see something they can’t see anywhere else and can’t on TV. With TV in this age, there is precious little the viewer doesn’t see or isn’t made aware of via graphics and statistics.

For racing, I believe the ‘Event’ is the event and there must be more than the action on the track, especially when the action is diluted for the perceived safety of all. The Indy 500 is an example of that. It is one tremendous event, and the perception of a world-class event makes it a world-class event.

– The Product:
You may note I’ve used the word ‘perception’ several times. ‘Perception’ is roughly defined as ‘what we believe we engage’. When we believe something is great, we vote with our $$ to support it. Likewise in reverse. Perception of ‘greatness’ and ‘amazing’ and ‘forward’ usually is rewarded by the eager onlookers of the public (and then sponsors eager to gain attention of the onlookers) with showers of money. Indycar as a series has lacked a perception of greatness for somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 years. Perhaps there was really nowhere else for it to go but down from the heights achieved in the 70s and 80s. I contend that it was as much a function of the loss of the greatest names from the greatest era of Indycar, in a span of 24 months as all other factors combined. Yes, the split was a huge factor as well, yet the without this loss of these great names so rapidly, I believe the split doesn’t go down as it did.

I see one way the fans will perceive Indycar racing as great again (not merely ‘good’ or ‘good enough’, but great) and make them pour out money to see it. By giving the people something they cannot see anywhere else AND giving them something they haven’t seen before, Indycar has a great opportunity to leap back into relevance. What that is, is for the Owners of Indycar to discern through major market study and analysis. What I believe the public is ready for is what I like to call.. brace yourselves… Ultimate Efficiency.

The ‘quest for speed’ days are over. Been there. Been to the edge and back. Think of Indycar much like the Apollo program – there were failures and amazingly great successes in the Apollo program (at immense expense also) and we barely got out of Apollo 13 without suffering an incredible disaster with the whole world watching. Somehow, Indycar has survived the most dangerous, most reckless times relatively unscathed and now it’s time to find a better way. A new threshold that I believe can capture the imagination of the public however is the pursuit of Ultimate Efficiency. So many products in this day and age have gone from power- and size-based values to efficiency-based value. How efficient can our propulsion systems be? What is the most efficient form of propulsion? Who will have the next amazing idea that will spur on automotive technologies? How far and how fast can we go 500 miles on limited amounts of energy input?

Those answers, I believe, should be answered in the form of the new INDYCAR series. Yes, folks, the new INDYCAR. The series and sport as we currently see it (much as I like it) is a dead-end, we’re just waiting to hit the wall to be sure at this point. That wall may be 9, 10, or 11, 14, or 19 years away… no matter. If INDYCAR wants to be proactive and create something to supply the demand of an intrigued public (and future fans) for the next 50 years, I see the open world of multiple forms of propulsion and high-efficiency as the basis of what future fans of people will want to see. I’m talking about combustible fuels of all sorts, electricity, hydrogen, solar, hot air, flux capacitors, whatever. Establish a relative unit of energy for these various types of energy usage and set a limit for a given distance to be achieved through a vehicle with specified limits on dimension, weight, coeffcient of drag, and including a standard driver safety cell. Whoever can do it within the energy limit and do it the fastest, wins.

I happen to think that when you engage all the right people in the process of creating an inventive and engaging product (the world’s inventing and manufacturing companies of propulsion systems, and to a lesser degree aerodynamics, suspensions, wheels, tires, etc.), I see them pouring money into the sport and creating a product that engages the public immensely. The demand for personal mobility vehicles will never go away, it just changes over time. A glimpse of the future is what the public wants to see. When that future-looking public is engaged, the sponsors will be there, the media will be there, and the money will be there.

IS INDYCAR the platform? I would like it to be. I would like INDYCAR to honor the history and tradition of innovation that built the sport. That innovation is what drove the people’s imagination and desire. Innovation is what created the legendary vehicles (both great and not-so-great) and legendary pilots who drove them.

Involving innovation (primarily through propulsion forms) is the ONLY way I see the sport of auto-racing surviving beyond the next 20 years.

Or do you think I’m waaaaay off-base? I’d love for you to read this diatribe, digest it a bit, and tell me what you honestly think. I’m a big boy, I can take it.

INDYCON Level 4 and Origins Redux

Once upon a time (a simpler and shinier time before children and 9/11 and recessions came bouncing along) I had enough free time to work a full-time job and have the luxury of considering what to do with some bonus evening hours on the weekends while my wife worked (chief photog for our local newspaper).

I fell into the semi-occasional freelance writing gig for my local newspaper covering high school sports on Friday and Saturday nights during football and basketball seasons. This went a ‘fer piece up tha road’ to satisfying my personal need for a creative outlet. As a bonus, I picked up a few scraps of extra cash which I promptly dumped into little mods here and there on my freelance transportation vehicle (our 1994 Miata C-pkg red with tan leather… I really do miss that car).

This was about.. (oh, what?! It can’t be!) thirteen years ago and just.. (oh, wow already?!) four years ago I discovered blogging. It wasn’t long before I discovered just how technically simple producing a blog can be. My writing now had an outlet that actually could be read by as many as I wanted to see it. As I began to blog, one subject kept bobbing on the surface of my writing thoughts – The Indianapolis 500. This lead me to start a blog strictly for my fascination with the Indy 500 and Indycar racing which is what you read today.

Now, on this first day of May as I set my INDY-CON (INDY-500 CONdition rating system) to level 4, I realize many who read this blog now may be unaware of the origins. The first day of May is when I traditionally take a look back to one my favorite memories of my youth and of my father.

Please forgive me as I take the road most lazy and give you the link to the aforementioned nostalgic post…

Synopsis, Part Deux, The End of the Beginning

What does the first day of May trigger for you?

Facebook and My Greatest 33.1

WARNING: Indy 500 Nerdery Blogpost Alert!

Abandon hope, all ye who enter…

Oh we’re steadily creeping up on May and a happy birthday to that wonderful web feature, The Greatest 33, that IMS used to great effect in generating discussion and interest for the 100th Anniversary race last spring.

The reason I mention it begins with some recent flim-flammery with my Facebook cover picture in its current edition (for those of you with Facebook, you’ll know what I mean). I had produced the Greatest 33 cover pic over the winter as the new Timeline format for Facebook began to propagate, also making cover pictures using my favorite sports to be rotated in during the events. Took a bit of ‘cntl+printscreen’ and ‘save as…’ and ham-fisted photoshoppery, but I managed to achieve my goal.

As The Masters concluded, my cover pic was now to be set rather impatiently in anticipation of the month of May. I selected my prized Greatest 33 cover pic with a smug degree of self-satisfaction… that is until I began to think about Dan Wheldon’s place in my ranking and the ranking of all currently active drivers who made the cut.

My original ranking was submitted prior to last year’s 500 and now most certainly must review it in light of Dan’s victory last year and the results of that race. Do I change it as time marches on or leave it, as is, as a signpost of early May 2011?

Nope, can’t leave it be. Spent far too much time, energy, and thought in developing a statistical formula and spreadsheet and arguments with myself for that group and now, being so emotionally invested in such matters, must take the time to review it again. I found my spreadsheet and reviewed my picture only to find a few discrepancies I had settled a year ago but forgotten about.

For the record, here’s an image of my original Greatest 33:

My original intent was to use select statistics to weed out so many emotional arguments and get a clear handle strictly on the elite performers at Indy. My formula (which included weighted statistics of: # of Races, Poles, Laps Lead, Wins, and Top 5s) gave me a solid 27 drivers which includes all of the 4-, 3-, and 2-time winners plus significant 1-time winners, so I elected to make space (Row 11) for only those performers who had no wins but amazing career numbers at the Brickyard. The remaining 3 places of Row 10 would be debated on the merits of a tightly-scored group of 5 drivers, all with 1 win.

Now My (latest) Greatest 33 with no added or dropped drivers, only place-shuffling:

Having redressed the numbers to include the current statistics following the 2011 Indy 500, some things emerged…

– Rows 1 through 4 went unchanged.
– Row 7 changed with Dan Wheldon and Dario Franchitti each jumping up one place and moving Tommy Milton down two. I hate to move anyone down, but the amount of wins for Wheldon (2) and laps lead for still-active Franchitti were enough to sufficiently supplant Milton.
– Rows 8 and 9 changed as Dixon, chiefly from his laps lead number and another Top 5 finish, leapfrogged 5 places to 23rd, shuffling all those passed backward one place.

Rows 5 and 6 is where some debate occurred. 1-time winner Ralph DePalma had scored 4 spots higher than his placing showed and I recalled moving him down in favor of 2-time winners Vukovich and Ward, the 2-time winner and speed record-holder Luyendyk, and on the bias that he was a 2-timer as well and was involved in the closest finish in history to date, Unser Jr. Now a year later, I found this a bit distasteful for some reason and split the difference, placing DePalma up two spots as the second highest-ranked 1-time winner and in the middle of a group of 2-time winners.

Finding the study of this list to be enjoyable, I’ve decided to continue to update my list each year. As I look forward to the 2012 race, some places that likely will change will be for active drivers Castroneves, Franchitti, and Dixon due to their relative points proximity to the drivers ahead of them and those drivers all inactive.

For those 0 of you interested in the particulars of my formula and rankings, a Google docs version of my spreadsheet, can be found here. There are two tabs at the bottom of the sheet which house the April 2011 and April 2012 versions.

Go ahead and set your Indy 500 nerdery alarm to ring in 365 days as I plan to be right back here (Mayan calendar be damned) updating prior to the 2013 Indianapolis 500 Mile Race. I’d be interested in your thoughts on your own Greatest 33 and if you’ve thought about changing it as well…

J.K. Rowling, Contrition, and Wagers

“Bizarre title, that” I can hear you say… bear with me. Yesterday I ran across this quote attributed to writer J.K. Rowling:

“I always surprise myself on my ability to turn a phrase.

Words are, in my not so humble opinion, a most inexhaustible source of magic;

capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.”

I immediately brought this into my realm and how this quote applies to my Indycar-related ~~word-butchering~~ blogging. Broken-down, here is how I applied it:

I read: “I always surprise myself on my ability to turn a phrase.”

I heard: I have a high regard for my writing.

When I sit down to write, in essence, I do little more than jot a stream of consciousness. I simply don’t have time or the financial compunction to belabor my direction, theme, and modus operandi which can lead to wild inconsistency from one post to the next. Maybe that is a feature which can be appreciated to a degree since it is meant to be fodder for entertainment, and not an examination of critical sociological matters.

However, I do see that as a convenient circumstance which can preclude me from such professional behaviors as outlining a point, proper grammar, proper spelling, etc. A writer, in the professional sense, I am not. I am an opinionated, digital graffiti artist with a college-level vocabulary and a means to extend that to this world via the internet, which brings me to the next portion of the quote:

I read: “Words are, in my not so humble opinion, the most inexhaustible source of magic; capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.“
I heard: There are many directions that words can take. It’s how you choose to go about using them that makes all the difference.

Those words caused me to think about some of my previous writings and I recall one which has bothered me for some time, especially with the myopia of hindsight. It is a post from mid-2011 which has a prediction-based pro and con of the sport from 2012 through 2013.

It is with sincere regret that I look back at the negative tone of that post and how it ultimately was released. It was consistent with my stream of consciousness style of writing and, with the end tone hanging in the balance as I wrote, it skewed into a backhanded and ham-fisted negative critique. I wrote out of discomfort with many (then) current unknowns and a genuine fear for the decline of a beloved sport which I truly only wish for better days ahead.

Many people much smarter than me have worked very hard to right the ship of Indycar. For my over-reaction and straying from the ‘grounded’ viewpoint that my blog is supposed to have, I am quite sorry. I do aim to be fair and well-thought with my views, however, I sometimes succumb to my own emotional leanings. An emotional diatribe is not what I intended this blog to be.

Having said that, and in light of the fact that with all the effectiveness of the new car, manufacturers, teams, and NBCSN’s great TV coverage, Indycar has just put on a great show at Barber Motorsports Park, (which may very well be the best Indycar twisty racing in the last 6 years or more) and virtually nobody outside of our little Indycar cloister saw it. This bothers me to no end.

Ultimately, what I firmly believe is this – Indycar CAN regain an audience comparable to its previous glory, but that will only comes with risk. Risk is relevant to the amount wagered versus the amount of potential gain. There are more changes necessary for Indycar if its goal is to return near its previous peaks.

Which ever direction Indycar goes, I wish it nothing but the best and will continue to support it because I like it and have followed it for over 30 years. I also would love for it to be here 30 years from now.

St. Pete Expectations (a self-mantra)

Beaux Barfield has outlined his competition expectations to the teams and drivers.

Even a nobody/megalomaniac like me has been bold enough to suggest a lap one, turn one melee will cause people (who only have just turned their eyes back since October) to have many reasons to question the validity of the sport’s claim of having the ‘best, fastest, and most versatile drivers’ and lose interest quickly.

I think it’s not out-of-line to suggest that Indycar can ill afford a bad first ‘re-impression’ since Las Vegas BUT, verily I say unto thee…

…it is going to be what it is going to be.

The die-hard fans of this sport will be legs, arms, and fingers-crossed in hopes we get though those first few laps until Marty Reid and ABC take a moment to step away to the side-by-side for the first time in 2012.

I, too, will be one of those pretzel-people (and it’s gonna make holding my Fuzzy’s Push-to-Pass beverage in my Pressdog ™ official Drink ye Bastards glass fairly difficult), BUT the simple fact remains that no matter how much I want a magnificent first race of the season and how important that momentum (DyB) can be for the upcoming races, and how much it would mean to a sport rising from the dead, things are gonna happen and no matter of wailing and gnashing of teeth will help. Certainly don’t ruin your beautiful flat screen TV by throwing something at it.

So, dear fans, you can do your level best to support this sport and ‘activate’ the sponsors and go to races and buy the gear and even go out of your way to introduce others to this sport that we hold so dearly, yet the events that unfold on Sunday (to re-use an oft-dropped phrase by Dr. Phil) “…AIN’T ABOUT YOU”!

The action will be whatever it will be and we’re going to watch it unfold just like everybody else. It may be a classic race. It may be a stinker of a snoozefest. It may be unlike anything we hoped or feared it may be.

It is going to be what it is going to be, so sit comfortably, breathe deeply, relax, have a tasty beverage, and just let it be.

That will have to do.

Equinox

The Equinox is a moment in time when the orbit of the Earth (on its tilted axis) crosses a point in the orbit where it is directly aligned with the plane of the sun. As the earth rotates on this day, March 20, 2012, the sun will appear directly overhead when viewed from the equator and always on the horizon when viewed from the geographic poles. It is also one of only two days of each year when the sunrise to sunset time is closest to being 12 hours difference.

Symbolically this day signals change: days become longer than nights; and, as the sun marches northward in the sky, a welcome warming begins the spring season in the Northern hemisphere.

I happen to think it is terrific, even if perhaps unintentional, that the first race of this Indycar season occurs on the weekend following the March equinox. After this long and tumultuous off-season, especially following the October race in Las Vegas, and on the cusp of seeing the newest generation of Indycars, I am more than ready to step into the light of a new season.

Despite my eagerness for racing action (and fears of driver impatience), I also wish to take this symbolic moment for one last thoughtful pause before the Indycar wheels again are turned in full contest in this newest of seasons. You’ll pardon me while I borrow from the spirit of the annual prayer prior to the start of the Indy 500…

Remember and honor those who’ve gone before us. Pass on to others the goodness they gave.
Help us continue to wish for the safety of all involved in this sport of racing – drivers, crews, engineering, track personnel, fans, families, media, and everyone involved.
Allow us to find examples of the goodness to be found in witnessing sporting competitions.
Bless this sport with continued energy and growth.
Give us all moments to cherish and celebrate.

In doing so, may we all, through this sport, find the light within ourselves and others.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s go racing again!

Indycar Parody Lyrics – Pippa Nation

DZ’s Indycar Parody Lyrics
Parody of ‘Rhythm Nation’ by Janet Jackson‘
‘Pippa Nation’ by Dammit Hackson (aka:DZ, aka:@groundedeffects)

With Twitter by our side
To break the gender lines
Let’s work together to improve a racer’s life
Our voices to contest
a racer in distress
A racer nation full of courage come and Tweet with me

-CHORUS-
(Tweeple of the world Indy, are we looking for a better racer’s life – sing!)
We are a part of the Pippa Nation
(Tweeple of the world unite, strength in numbers we can help tonight – one time!)
We are a part of the Pippa Nation

With fans she is the best
No struggle, no progress
Lend a hand to help your Pippa do her best
Time is getting close
we have to make it better
It’s time to give a damn let’s work together – come on!

-CHORUS-
-CHORUS-

Piiiiiiiiii-paaa Nation (we are a part of the Pippa Nation)
Piiiiiiiiii-paaa Nation (we are a part of the Pippa Nation)
Piiiiiiiiii-paaa Nation (we are a part of the Pippa Nation)
Piiiiiiiiii-paaa Nation (we are a part of the Pippa Nation)

The Most Important Turn of the Season

As this is being written, there are brand-spanking-shiny new DW12s, replete with the latest in sponsored liveries, being throttled with vigor down in Sebring. Spring training is upon us and the Indycar season (save for a very few and very unfortunate teams and drivers) is now rapidly approaching on the forward horizon.

There is scant time to prepare for the most important turn of the season, but to emphasize that turn’s monumental importance, it is important to recapitulate why it is so…

The last race I saw in person prior to this writing was that glorious underdog victory of a finish at Kentucky on October 2nd, 2011. An early morning IndycarNation bus ride from IMS delivered myself, two racing friends, and 60-some other Indycar fans to Kentucky Speedway. As the sun had slowly risen to burn off the frost, we clambered (still somewhat groggy from our previous night’s escapades in downtown Indy) off the bus to a gorgeous bluebird autumn sky in Sparta, KY. Little did we know the drama that was to unfold just hours later. The following video is re-work by @indy44 of a classic VersusTV ad with Kentucky race highlights seems to encapsulate that race, and the end of Indycar on Versus TV as we knew it. Go ahead and play it – it’s quite enjoyable.

Certainly Ed Carpenter’s first victory which put Sarah Fisher Racing in the Winner’s Circle for the first time was one of the highlights of the 2011 Indycar season.

As clear as the Kentucky sky was that morning and the sweetness of seeing a race to be added to a hundred years of Indycar lore, what lay just beyond in the coming hours and days was the stuff of the worst Indycar nightmares.

Immediately following one of the most tremendous underdog victories in recent Indycar history, Sarah announced through tears of joy and pain in Victory Lane that her win was bittersweet due to the fact that her primary sponsor would be leaving at the end of the season. The subsequent questions of the sport’s profile and head-shaking resound through the paddock of stalwart fans and media.

Then, the worst of news…

Reigning Indy 500 Champion Dan Wheldon dies tragically on Sunday, October 16 in a spectacular crash on Lap 11 (which also tallied numerous severe injuries) during the Las Vegas Indycar World Championship season finale. Weeks of grief and analysis and hand-wringing and brazen ‘strafing attacks’ by far-flung, uninformed branches of the media followed. Dark times indeed.

With much care and deliberation (and little outward detail), Indycar begins the process of investigating the crash while concurrent, rapid preparations are made for a timely and proper memorial to Dan and his family. In just two weeks, things had gone from an incredible high to the lowest of low for which we all were ill-prepared.

Somewhat quietly in relation to the Wheldon backlash, Lotus Cars and Lotus Racing became ensnarled in a paternity battle over the convoluted ownership rights of all the pieces of the company and most certainly was the primary cause of delay in the already critical schedule for the Indycar motor development we see today.

Despite the beginnings of brighter news when the (newly renamed DW12) chassis are delivered, almost giftlike, to teams near the holidays, motor contracts also become scarce. Manufacturers who’ve based budgets and work on a particular number of cars for the 2012 season, are surprised to find more entries than expected. This leads to much confusion and concern when a number of (smaller and fan-favored) teams with full-season funding are left out in the cold of January and February awaiting any news of impending motor leases which hadn’t yet come.

And, as the 60s radio DJ said, “the hits just keep on coming”…

Early testing of the new chassis and engines reveals some significant deficiencies in the high-speed oval trim to the dismay of alarmists who with great voice insist Indycar and Dallara provide a car that shall not be lesser than the previously unloved and 8 year-old Dallara.

Ovals become scarce on the long-awaited and oft-delayed schedule announcement, again with much vocal opposition by those who seem to prefer watching 33 Watson roadsters amble around to 33 ground-effect machines in a variety of venues.

Danica, now fully divorced from Indycar, becomes the media darling of the NASCAR world. This, combined with a still-fragmented TV coverage package, leaves some Indycar followers unsure of the future visibility of the sport.

Assorted negative and positive news comes out of the Indycar world at varying times culminating with a State of the Sport presentation which generally reminds us that, despite where Indycar has been in recent years, months, and weeks, there are many positives on the threshold of this newest of Indycar seasons.

So it has finally come to this…

The dawn of a new season. New cars. New Engines. New and old drivers and teams. New venues and old venues reborn. The cusp of a fresh new Indycar world. What will it look like? How will it be received? What can we count on?

Not much, I think, but I can tell you this – despite all the crap we stalwarts have been through in the recent weeks, months, and years, despite any positives and spin and ballyhoo regarding a new Indycar world, NOTHING will present the world with our all-new, Phoenix-from-the-ashes sport that is Indycar (what I argue is) the SINGLE-MOST important turn all season…

Turn One at the Grand Prix of St. Petersburg.

“There are no second chances”…

The key for Indycar’s 2012 season will be held in the hands of those found in just two distinct locations – the starter’s perch and the driver cockpits at St Pete. Drivers, if you care about nothing else all year, know that you very well may be judged by many on one thing this year; getting through turn 1 and completing the first lap without wrecking.

There is an opportunity to catch potential fans who will be tuning-in only since October to see what has become of that curiosity known as Indycar. I emplore you to not succumb to temptation and make a mockery of what potential good there is from “the best, fastest, most versatile drivers in the world” by smashing it up at the end of the runway in St. Pete.

I cannot strongly enough remind the league, teams, and drivers, that the fans are still here, ready and waiting for you. To use the words of that speech from the Versus ad at the top of this post:

“the only thing, THE ONLY THING we can count on at any given moment is YOU.”
(said the fans to the league, teams, and drivers)
“It’s you versus them.”
(the naysayers and doomers of this sport)
“It’s you versus ‘NO’!”
(those who wait to expose your failures)
“You versus ‘CAN’T’!”
(prove to everyone you’re the best drivers in the world).
“You versus next year, last year, statistics, excuses…”
(forget the ghosts of the past, your time is NOW.)
“It’s you versus history”
(it’s time to make your own)
“It’s you versus the odds”
(show them how great this sport can be)
“It’s you versus second place”
(tired of being second-rate to NASCAR? I am!)

“The clock is ticking… let’s see what you’ve got.”