Ground(ed) Effects

Indycar and general autosport opinion

I tend to try to make things simple.  For some reason, this often leads to unnecessary elaboration/obfuscation.  Any regular reader would likely agree or possibly even be astounded that anyone could think otherwise.

(to use an oft-abused non-word) Irregardless, I will disobfuscate all over your screen here with something that I like to call Simple IndyCar Math. No need to explain really unless since 3rd grade you’ve forgotten that “>” is the greater than sign and “<" is the less than sign…

Example: IndyCar > NASCAR.  OK, you with me?  Of course you are, here we go…
Butler Bulldogs > Indiana Pacers
Grilled Encased meats >= Zero Gravity Flights
Jack Arute > The whole Fox NASCAR booth
IZOD > (Pep Boys + Northern Lights) x 50
‘How Do I Love Indy?’ Firestone Ad > All remixes/mash-ups of Slap Chop Ads
Google Chrome > (IE8) x 17
Google anything > anything – Google
Long Beach > Sonoma
Roy Hobbson > Jonathan Hart Self-made Millionaire
AC/DC >= Having Superpowers
Gran Turismo 2 > Mario Kart wii
The Inside Pass >= sliced bread
pressdog > Gordon Kirby
Trenton’s dog-leg backstretch oval > any damned cookie cutter 1.5 mile oval of today
Nazareth > Homestead
Nazareth <= April Wine
John Menard = Andy Granatelli
Buick Indy V6 Turbo <= Colonoscopy
Indianapolis Motor Speedway > Daytona International Speedway (and don’t you forget it)
Dirty air <= Pants crapping
Simona > Danica
Helio > Tom Sneva
Fuel Strategies < Late-braking Passes for position
ZZ Top > 3 Doors Down + Third Eye Blind + free Miller Lite.
Chip Ganassi >= Ulysses S. Grant
Lindy Thackston >= sliced bread
The Pagdoa > we may ever realize
Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale > Psychedelics
Jimi Hendrix > Michael Jackson
Ben Roethlisberger < smart
Jim Nabors > Mormon Tabernacle Choir

The Race to the Party…
Select Driver – Roy Hobbson, Select Transport = ’78 Corvette + T-Tops + fuzzy dice + chrome skull shift knob – catalytic converter.
Select Driver – Bob Jenkins, Select Transport =  ’74 Hurst-Olds Cutlass 455ci Pace Car
Select Driver – Danny Ongais, Select Transport = ’81 Methodist Hospital Ambulance
Select Driver – Sam Hornish Jr., Select Transport = Time Machine

More Race to the Party coming at GroundedEffects.blogspot.com

Thanks for visiting.

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