Right up front, I must say that it just hit me today.
I hadn’t actually noticed the fact that nearly everyday since the first race in Sao Paulo, IZOD IndyCar news is plentiful. Plentiful AND good news. I had just been so eagerly soaking it up with building anticipation to the Greatest Spectacle In Racing, that I needed to just take a moment to think about how we’ve come so far so quickly.
I trace it back to the major sponsor activation by IZOD that has, without a doubt, jump-started the entire league and raised the profile of IndyCar (and for that, I pledge the activation of my money and brand loyalty in supporting the Phillips-Van Heusen lines). If you are an IndyCar fan, I seriously hope you choose to do the same because when I think of the departure of Mr. Tony George from management of the series, I think about the major concerns I had about its future. Thank you IZOD and thank you Mike Kelly.
Now onto the racing:
Heading into the oval season, we now turn our attention to only turning left which instantly gets the juices flowing for Indy. Ahhh, dammit sweet Indy, how do I love you? Very much thank you but first, there’s the matter of Kansas. Kansas brings us the first oval of the season and the only one before Indy meaning some shining rookies need to get up to speed pronto and veterans jostle for Jack Arute’s ‘Uncle Mo‘, heading to Indy.
Now onto the IndyCar Simple Math:
turning left at Kansas > turning right at Kansas
Mona Vie > h.e.r.
@tomasscheckter > @danicapatrick
The Queen-Hotts of the ‘Inside’ (The Inside Pass Girls) > well, most any other fan-based group really.
making Indy 500 weekend plans > watching Tallesnooza.
VS IndyCar (and Hockey for that matter) coverage > anything ESPN has done for years.
SMI > ISC
Oval Crown and Road/Street Crown > ‘the chase’
Pressdog + SB PopOffValve + is it May yet? + 16th and Georgetown + Curt Cavin + Oil Pressure > searching for IndyCar commentary via all traditional media outlets combined.
Many thanks to all who spend time making the IZOD IndyCar world a better place!
I tend to try to make things simple. For some reason, this often leads to unnecessary elaboration/obfuscation. Any regular reader would likely agree or possibly even be astounded that anyone could think otherwise.
(to use an oft-abused non-word) Irregardless, I will disobfuscate all over your screen here with something that I like to call Simple IndyCar Math. No need to explain really unless since 3rd grade you’ve forgotten that “>” is the greater than sign and “<" is the less than sign…
Example: IndyCar > NASCAR. OK, you with me? Of course you are, here we go…
Butler Bulldogs > Indiana Pacers
Grilled Encased meats >= Zero Gravity Flights
Jack Arute > The whole Fox NASCAR booth
IZOD > (Pep Boys + Northern Lights) x 50
‘How Do I Love Indy?’ Firestone Ad > All remixes/mash-ups of Slap Chop Ads
Google Chrome > (IE8) x 17
Google anything > anything – Google
Long Beach > Sonoma
Roy Hobbson > Jonathan Hart Self-made Millionaire
AC/DC >= Having Superpowers
Gran Turismo 2 > Mario Kart wii
The Inside Pass >= sliced bread
pressdog > Gordon Kirby
Trenton’s dog-leg backstretch oval > any damned cookie cutter 1.5 mile oval of today
Nazareth > Homestead
Nazareth <= April Wine
John Menard = Andy Granatelli
Buick Indy V6 Turbo <= Colonoscopy
Indianapolis Motor Speedway > Daytona International Speedway (and don’t you forget it)
Dirty air <= Pants crapping
Simona > Danica
Helio > Tom Sneva
Fuel Strategies < Late-braking Passes for position
ZZ Top > 3 Doors Down + Third Eye Blind + free Miller Lite.
Chip Ganassi >= Ulysses S. Grant
Lindy Thackston >= sliced bread
The Pagdoa > we may ever realize
Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale > Psychedelics
Jimi Hendrix > Michael Jackson
Ben Roethlisberger < smart
Jim Nabors > Mormon Tabernacle Choir
The Race to the Party…
Select Driver – Roy Hobbson, Select Transport = ’78 Corvette + T-Tops + fuzzy dice + chrome skull shift knob – catalytic converter.
Select Driver – Bob Jenkins, Select Transport = ’74 Hurst-Olds Cutlass 455ci Pace Car
Select Driver – Danny Ongais, Select Transport = ’81 Methodist Hospital Ambulance
Select Driver – Sam Hornish Jr., Select Transport = Time Machine
More Race to the Party coming at GroundedEffects.blogspot.com
Thanks for visiting.